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From Rags To Rags And On to Oblivion
Biographies
Grandpa Rusk (Alun Edwards)
The Welsh are renowned for their love of singing, so it’s no surprise that Alun, the band’s vocalist, is of Welsh decent.
His father, Taffy Edwards, quickly rose to be a multi millionaire after discovering a seam of gold in his struggling Welsh coal mine.
The rags to riches story continued when the already affluent Alun began to work for a national utility company. Alun invented a unique system of collecting money for the company which involved him keeping most of it for himself!
Alun is now the playboy of the band, a genuine “It Guy”, owning palatial homes in North Yorkshire, Ingleby Barwick and Pallister Park.
Having been retired for a number of years, Alun is heavily involved in charity work, although unusually most of his causes seem to be losing money. home
Grandad Rusk (John Whittingham)
As the 13th Earl of Linthorpe, John Whittingham is no stranger to life in the spotlight. His father, the 12th Earl, was keen that the young John should take an active role in family affairs and on completing his education John waved goodbye to his fellow boarders at Gordonstone and set to work managing the family estate. The future for the urbane young earl seemed secure until an unfortunate incident involving a young stable hand and a paternity suit that threatened to undermine generations of family tradition. The planned wedding to the elegant young debutante Sally Asquith – Jones was aborted and the disgraced young earl was cut off by his father, blackballed by his socialite friends and dropped out of the public eye into a downward spiral of drink and drug fuelled self abuse. It was during this “dark” period of John’s life that he discovered his love of music which, although he didn’t know it at the time, was to be his salvation. Whilst busking outside Shepherds Bush tube station, where he had been sleeping rough, John was spotted by a keen eyed tv producer who offered him a job on the spot as Jasper Carrot’s stunt double. A showbiz career was launched and the rest is, of course, history. John rarely makes reference to his privileged past although his inclusion in Burkes Peerage , Who’s Who and a recent invitation to the Palace suggest that a family reunion may be in the offing.
Recently retired John wants to spend more time with his grandchildren, concentrate on his music and address his drinking problem (to get most of the ale into his mouth most of the time). home
Notice no fan, I'm not a chufty.Sparky (Specky) Rusk (Mike Sandbrook)
Following intensive treatment at some of the country’s most prestigious mental hospitals, Mick, the bands bass player, is now almost completely normal.
Gone are the days when he would don his Napoleon costume and beckon his imaginary French troops into battle. O.K., so he still likes to boil and devour the odd live puppy every full moon but hey- he’s only human!
Having been profoundly deaf for the past thirteen years, Mick has perfected the technique, invented by Beethoven, of sensing the vibration of his instrument, thereby playing the right notes most of the time. This technique seems to work quite well until a member of the audience who has previously eaten a particularly nasty curry passes a deep rumbling fart which can unfortunately play havoc with his sensitivities. home
Techno Rusk (Merrick Hamilton)
Due to his swarthy Mediterranean good looks and his tragic childhood, it is easy to see why Merrick (Techno Rusk) was led into a life of crime.
Being a particularly obnoxious child, Merrick was abandoned by his parents who decided, following a family holiday in Rimini, to fly home without him.
Not only did Merrick look like a local child, he smelled like one as well as he had developed a taste for cheap red wine and garlic at a particularly early age.
Under the guidance of the local Mafia, Merrick rapidly became the youngest criminal on the Neapolitan Riviera initially selling non-existent time-share doll’s houses to the children of foreign tourists. Of course this quickly worsened and inevitably he started dealing in drugs, this time offering shots of Calpol to the older kids.
Intensely disliked by the rest of the group, Merrick’s future with the band is assured for many years to come as members of his Italian family often visit. home
Baby Rusk (Dennis Johnson)
Dennis (Baby Rusk), the bands percussionist, received no formal education. Dennis was a persistent truant, which was unusual for a boy still at nursery school.
Dennis could often be seen wandering the streets of Middlesbrough trying to pronounce the word “Cortina” over and over again.
His great love of cars soon led him into the motor trade, but disaster struck as his lack of schooling began to show. The only tax that he had ever heard of was a small disc stuck to the cars windscreen, and as for V.A.T., the deeply religious Dennis thought it was short for Vatican.
Having received a letter from the VAT man, Dennis naturally thought that the Pope was coming to pay him a visit to buy a car. This of course was not the case and Dennis was unhappy for many years to come! home
R.O.R.
© 2003